Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize