I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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