Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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