Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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