So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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