I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize