rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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