Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
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Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need to align my fucking chakras
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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