Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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