I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize