There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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