You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize