Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
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I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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