I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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