Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
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Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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