Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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