I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize