I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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