I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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