happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize