and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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