halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize