I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize