If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize