As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
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Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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