I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize