Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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