Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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