If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this beer tastes like vomit already
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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