If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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