OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
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