found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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