There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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