...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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