don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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