Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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