I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize