Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize