there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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