But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Randomize