last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
40s are totally the cure
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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