i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
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Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
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Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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