so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
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I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
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What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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