where am i from again
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize