oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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