I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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