There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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