i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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