Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize