My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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