I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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